I'm the kind of guy that think he has everything figured out all the time. Nobody has ever shown me concrete evidence that I don't have everything figured out, so I'm just going to keep chugging along until that happens. My guess is that it's not going to happen by the time I can finish typing this blog post, so here's some college tips for you higher level education-ees out there.
- Honestly my biggest beef with how college kids go about their business is that they go at it with the wrong amount of seriousness. More often than not my issue is with the crowd that takes it too seriously. The ones that study all night for a english 101 exam and get their papers proofread a dozen times before eventually throwing it out and writing a new one. Failing classes isn't a great option, I would even go as far as to say that a C average isn't a great option either, but for the most parts good grades are overrated. Try a little bit, write your papers once, and turn them in. Your main goal should be to get a decent grade while exerting as little effort as possible. Companies don't hire people based on GPA (granted, there are those students that need to get into grad school and need straight A's to do that and shit, so if that's the case for you maybe you should read some other blog). I'm just saying that when you look back at your college life in 20 years, you're going to realize that you didn't need to get an A+ in US HISTORY PRIOR TO 1865, you just needed to pass it, and you'll regret skipping out on that game of red rover to re-read the chapter about the Revolutionary War. In regards to the students that don't try enough, I'm not in the business of parenthood here. If you're too lazy to pass classes, go to the gym and start lifting because manual labor requires a lot of strength and endurance.
- A lot of students like to suck up to professors. I'm not going to say that that's a bad idea, because a lot of the times it's a real good idea. The sad truth is that grades AREN'T ALWAYS ACTUALLY EARNED, sometimes they are truly GIVEN. Sucking up can help. Also, having female private parts helps a lot of times too, but that's not something that's really up to us. I'd advise you to be careful about sucking up though, because a lot of professors get wise to that job. I had a Bible class one time, and like the second week I went in like a minute early and asked the dude for help interpreting some Bible verse. I really didn't need to do it, but I did it anyways just because I knew that would make the dude like me. Sure enough, he was pumped at the chance to "really help one of his students", and I proceeded to skip as much as I wanted the rest of the semester. Guess what grade I got? It starts with an 'A'. Point is - if you want to suck up, do it. My personal goal is to try and get professors to suck up to me. I've even succeeded a few times. If you can convince a professor that you are the most successful, funny, and most personable person in the class, you probably already have an A on lock. You'd be surprised by what you can get away with.
- This post has already gotten pretty long so I'm going rapid fire
- Don't wear the lanyard they give you around your neck. You look like a tourist.
- Keep the damn high school letterman jacket at home.
- The first time you make your professor laugh mid-lecture, you add at least 5 percentage points to your final grade.
- Keep those Facebook status relationships hidden. I won't say why.
- Do stuff. College is probably the first and last time you'll be completely free to do what you want, so don't waste it in your dorm room. Facebook will be there when you graduate, just go out and do stuff. If you don't have a couple of run ins with the cops by diploma time, you didn't do it quite right.
- If you're too dumb to control yourself with the alcohol scene, just avoid it entirely. Although the hardest part of that one is realizing when you're dumb. Dumb people don't know they're dumb. So this a moot bullet point.
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