This post is about No Shave November and Breast Cancer Awareness, but the title had you thinking of other things, didn't it?
"No Shave November" pisses me off. There are two reasons for that. Number one is that I once knew this kid who could grow hair like nobody's business, like this dude had hair coming out of his eyeballs - and this was all the time, not even just during months where he elected not to shave. So anyways, no shave November comes around and by Thanksgiving this kid didn't have a face. He was like that tangela pokemon from ... well ... pokemon.
For real this kid had so much hair everywhere and it was really gross. That's reason number one why I don't like No Shave November.
Reason number two is because I have a donteverhitpubertyalarial disease and I've never been able to grow any good facial hair. For real I couldn't even grow a goatee until like a year ago. I was 19 years old and I had never shaved before in my life because I never grew facial hair. So when No Shave November rolled around all my big hairy friends would be like YO JON WHY DID YOU SHAVE IT'S NO SHAVE NOVEMBER. I'm like well guys... I'm actually so good at No Shave November that I took it to a completely different level, I made it a no-shave century.
Part two of this post is about breast cancer awareness. I'm not going to make breast jokes either because I'm way too mature for that.
So tomorrow we're ...
Sorry one of my housemates just came in and screamed something completely nonsensical and I lost my thought train... that kid is strange.
So tomorrow we're supposed to wear purple for breast cancer awareness. Actually I'm not even all that sure that it's breast cancer awareness, but it's some sort of awareness. (This is the part of the post where I toe the line of offending people) (-)(-) I just don't understand how wearing purple helps anybody. Is some rich guy gonna walk around and see everyone wearing purple and then be like "hey I'm gonna give a million dollars to cancer research because these kids are wearing purple"? I mean it's worth a shot I guess, it doesn't hurt anybody to wear purple, I just don't think that stuff actually does anything. Wouldn't we be better off asking everyone to give a dollar? Money talks guys.
Awareness doesn't cure disease, cash money cures disease. Hell it doesn't even have to be cash money, it could be credit money or paypal money or whatever. So I encourage everyone reading to wear every color that isn't purple tomorrow and give a dollar to somebody with breast cancer. That's how we change the world.
If you were offended by this post, I'm sorry. I'm just flustered. I survived Sandy and I thought I was out of the woods, but then someone threw an usk in the middle of that word and there's a child molester in Waynesburg. Bro-ham Sandusky is rotting in prison just 3.5 miles away from me. You know how scary that is for a guy that can't grow facial hair?
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ReplyDeleteJon I wanted to tell you why tomorrow is PURPLE DAY, just so that you know. As President of Colleges Against Cancer and the Chair of Relay for Life, I have entered Waynesburg University in challenge call RIVAL U, sponsored by the East Central Collegiate Advisory Team of the American Cancer Society. There are over 80 schools throughout Pennsylvania and Ohio participating. This week is the third week of challenges! This week each school is required to hold a "Paint the Campus Purple" event. This means that each school has to have 3 purple themed activities. Purple is the color that represent Cancer Survivors and Relay for Life. At Waynesburg, we are holding a Purple Day! By wearing purple tomorrow Waynesburg will receive there credit for the Rival U challenge. At the end of the four weeks, the top 2 teams and a wildcard team will compete in a one week fundraising challenge to try to win a "Pimp My Relay" Prize package!
ReplyDeleteAll in all, wearing Purple tomorrow shows support for Relay for Life. The people that don't wear purple then see everyone who does support Relay and then hopefully decide to then themselves join a Relay for Life team. By joining a team, they become part of Relay for Life, which is the biggest event fundraiser put on by the American Cancer Society! Last year at Waynesburg University we raised over $24,000!
So no, wearing purple does not directly cure cancer, but in the long run it promotes Relay for Life, which is a HUGE CANCER FUNDRAISER!
oh.
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