Senior Year Seminar

Eyes... ears... testicles... lungs... senior years.

What are "things you only get two of for 800, Alex".

So that was sort of opposite Jeopardy I guess...

Anyways, senior year is like 3/8ths over and I realized that I haven't even offered my horribly destructive advice on the subject yet.

Senior year is like the moonlanding. Freakin' Neil Armstrong went crazy his senior year. I heard that Armstrong got so drunk at a party that he tried to jump off his house's roof to the moon. He got pretty close too. After he woke up from the coma he was in, he bought a spacesuit off Amazon and actually went to the moon. Dude was crazy. His professors were jealous and failed him. Then he screwed the Dean's wife and got straight A's, which absolutely doesn't make any sense.

Anyways, senior year is all about happy endings. High school senior year, literally nothing matters. By the time you're a senior, you already have the resume you need to get into whatever college you're going to get into. Either that or you're already destined for manual labor. Anyways, have as much fun as you possibly can senior year. If you don't have detention a few times you did it wrong. Back talk teachers, pull really bad pranks, and get into physical fights with guys way bigger than you. Seriously before you turn 18 you can do whatever the hell you want. You're a kid, which means you pretty much don't exist. Just have fun senior year, and be nice to your parents. You need your parents to like you. They'll be paying for your college and giving you a car. Do what they say, or just become a really bad liar.

High school senior year was like four years ago, so now we'll get into my real expertise.

Your first goal of senior year is to find a really cheap way to do everything. If you're into drinking, you should do that while saving as much money as possible. By the time you're a senior you're 21 years old and you can legally drink; it's ridiculous to think that someone would drink under the age of 21. What I've recently discovered is that because the legal drinking age is 21, as soon as you turn 22 you can't go to bars anymore. Walked into this bar on my 22nd birthday and the lady was like "hey are you 21?", I'm like ... nope ... so she kicked me out. So take advantage of the 356 days you have to drink. If you're lucky they'll be a leap day between your birthdays and you'll get that extra day.

Senior year classes are important.

hahahh.

The truth is you don't want to lose your mind. You need some brain cells for after college life when you have to be good enough at bullshitting to convince somebody that you can actually help their business. Life's really all about convincing somebody that you're worth their time anyways. Even if you are worth their time, you still have to convince them of it. No resume will ever convince someone of your worth. How do you get that accented 'e' on here anyways. Dammit. è. Oh hell yeah there it goes. I've written about this in the past anyways, read the college tips post for more information.

Make as many jokes as possible senior year. Piss off as many professors as possible, as long as they aren't professors that can get you jobs. You're gonna get crappy grades, but in 2 years you'll realize that your grades didn't really matter. Graduate on time with a GPA over 2.75 and become a good communicator. That is your only goal.

I have a lot more advice to give, but we'll save that for part 2 in the series. Just keep refreshing this page until that one appears.