Friday, August 8, 2014
Sunday, July 27, 2014
The Same Old Church Story
I went to church this morning, like I have done probably over a thousand other times in my life, and I heard a message much like I've ever heard a few hundred of those times, if not more than that. While I've never had the best attention span to focus closely on every single word a preacher says to really fully understand what he's trying to stay, I'm pretty good at understanding the general purpose of messages pretty quickly.
This preacher was reading and preaching out of Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount. If you're curious, you can read it here. There is certainly a ton to preach about from that passage, I mean you could talk about it for hours. You could come at it different ways, you could dissect it, read it from different translations and see what the different origins tell you, but most of the time it just comes back to the very elementary (and fundamental) idea that God blesses those who focus on Him first and not on their own desires. The pastor did a fine job, it was a good message with good delivery, but it still just reminded me so much of so many other messages I've heard in the past.
This was the real reason for why I left the church that I attended for the first 18 years of my life, because it was just a simple, overplayed message every week. Not that the message I'm going to describe is wrong or unimportant - it's incredibly important to hear - but at some point you just have to go past it. You have to accept the fact that it's a simple understanding of the Christian faith and search for more. The message is that God is there for you when you struggle. If you're having bad times, God will bring you out of them if you believe in Him. That our struggles here are nothing to be worried about because God has much bigger things planned, and our time on earth is only temporary. Trust in God first and everything will be fine.
That's a great message, especially for new Christians, or non-Christians searching for something, but I've been an in-church Christian since I knew how to talk and it just doesn't do anything for me anymore.
What about the Christians who aren't struggling with anything? Would it be so controversial for me to say that I don't have any struggles in my life right now? I have a job, an apartment, good health, a loving family, a lot of great friends, and a bright future. What's that mean? Does it mean God "blessed me" more than other people? Because the more I think about "God blessing us" in the way that most Christians think about it the more I realize that it doesn't make any sense. There's not enough time to talk more about that though.
What I'm saying is that Christianity cannot be all about getting in tough times and knowing how to get out of them. Because where do you go when you do get out of them? You just cruise until you get into more trouble? That message says absolutely nothing to the Christians who aren't going through any struggles at the current time - which is probably more people than not since our American problems most often aren't problems at all.
I'm all about trusting God and living your life based on what Matthew 5 says, but it's just a depthless message that I'm tired of hearing in church. There is such a thing as understanding something and moving on, and it just doesn't seem like many churches want to do that with us.
This preacher was reading and preaching out of Matthew 5, the Sermon on the Mount. If you're curious, you can read it here. There is certainly a ton to preach about from that passage, I mean you could talk about it for hours. You could come at it different ways, you could dissect it, read it from different translations and see what the different origins tell you, but most of the time it just comes back to the very elementary (and fundamental) idea that God blesses those who focus on Him first and not on their own desires. The pastor did a fine job, it was a good message with good delivery, but it still just reminded me so much of so many other messages I've heard in the past.
This was the real reason for why I left the church that I attended for the first 18 years of my life, because it was just a simple, overplayed message every week. Not that the message I'm going to describe is wrong or unimportant - it's incredibly important to hear - but at some point you just have to go past it. You have to accept the fact that it's a simple understanding of the Christian faith and search for more. The message is that God is there for you when you struggle. If you're having bad times, God will bring you out of them if you believe in Him. That our struggles here are nothing to be worried about because God has much bigger things planned, and our time on earth is only temporary. Trust in God first and everything will be fine.
That's a great message, especially for new Christians, or non-Christians searching for something, but I've been an in-church Christian since I knew how to talk and it just doesn't do anything for me anymore.
What about the Christians who aren't struggling with anything? Would it be so controversial for me to say that I don't have any struggles in my life right now? I have a job, an apartment, good health, a loving family, a lot of great friends, and a bright future. What's that mean? Does it mean God "blessed me" more than other people? Because the more I think about "God blessing us" in the way that most Christians think about it the more I realize that it doesn't make any sense. There's not enough time to talk more about that though.
What I'm saying is that Christianity cannot be all about getting in tough times and knowing how to get out of them. Because where do you go when you do get out of them? You just cruise until you get into more trouble? That message says absolutely nothing to the Christians who aren't going through any struggles at the current time - which is probably more people than not since our American problems most often aren't problems at all.
I'm all about trusting God and living your life based on what Matthew 5 says, but it's just a depthless message that I'm tired of hearing in church. There is such a thing as understanding something and moving on, and it just doesn't seem like many churches want to do that with us.
Monday, June 23, 2014
The Marshmallow Test
Read about an old psychology test that Stanford did in the 60's and 70's. It was called the Marshmallow Test and it was all about the need for instant gratification affects how successful a person is in life.
You can read the full details on this Wikipedia page, but I'll explain it real quick.
So basically they brought a bunch of kids into a room by themselves and put a marshmallow (or cookie or pretzel, depending on what the kid liked - which was good to hear because I've never really liked marshmallows so I didn't think that would have been a very good temptress) on the table and told them that if they made it 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow they could have another one.
Turns out that most of the kids were able to make it to the 15 minute mark and get the second marshmallow. They kept the data and then kept tabs on the kids as they grew up. Interestingly enough, the study showed that the kids that waited for the second marshmallow were significantly more competent later in life. They even scored higher on their SAT's.
Now I completely believe that patience and the ability to hold future gains above cheap instant gratification is super correlated with success in life, but hearing that that one little test of a kid could tell so much about how a kid would turn out later in life was pretty amazing. There's a lot of ways to tell which way a person is heading in life, and the earlier you identify a future problem, the better - but I'm not sure if these things can really be changed for good like that.
That's not a lot of intelligible talk on my part, but it's interesting to think about - so maybe you'll do that.
You can read the full details on this Wikipedia page, but I'll explain it real quick.
So basically they brought a bunch of kids into a room by themselves and put a marshmallow (or cookie or pretzel, depending on what the kid liked - which was good to hear because I've never really liked marshmallows so I didn't think that would have been a very good temptress) on the table and told them that if they made it 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow they could have another one.
Turns out that most of the kids were able to make it to the 15 minute mark and get the second marshmallow. They kept the data and then kept tabs on the kids as they grew up. Interestingly enough, the study showed that the kids that waited for the second marshmallow were significantly more competent later in life. They even scored higher on their SAT's.
Now I completely believe that patience and the ability to hold future gains above cheap instant gratification is super correlated with success in life, but hearing that that one little test of a kid could tell so much about how a kid would turn out later in life was pretty amazing. There's a lot of ways to tell which way a person is heading in life, and the earlier you identify a future problem, the better - but I'm not sure if these things can really be changed for good like that.
That's not a lot of intelligible talk on my part, but it's interesting to think about - so maybe you'll do that.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Almost Predestination
It's been awhile since I've posted here - I feel like I've had to say that at the beginning of a lot of my recent posts here; I guess I just haven't been thinking too originally recently, which is too bad.
I just got back from spending four nights and five days in the 'fabulous' city of Las Vegas, which was a lot of fun. We gambled too much, I lost more money that I would be willing to confess to my mother, and my liver isn't offering me any thanks you's for what I fed it while I was there, but now it's all over the trip at least inspired this blog post.
So if you spend any time walking in the Las Vegas strip you'll see dozens of people that really make you wonder how they came to be where they currently are. There are street performers, who actually have some serious talent and can do pretty amazing things - however they're depending on people to be impressed enough to give them tips to feed and shelter themselves every day. That's somewhat understandable though, it's respectable to have talent and want to get it out there - who knows maybe it will lead to a real performing job someday. The other kinds of people are what really make you scratch your head. There are the people that will just get in a costume and stand on the road side with a tips bucket - those people can't possibly make any money, right? Unless you have a little kid who loves Buzz Lightyear or you just have an odd obsession with minions from whatever stupid movie minions are from, then you'll have to stop for a picture and then be guilted into paying them for taking the picture. If there are any street costume wearers reading this I'm sorry for my comments. So there's those people, and there are the people that make their living by handing out cards for strippers, strip clubs, and prostitutes (escorts if you want to get literal and not arrested), and those are the lives that you just really want to know what happened to.
How far do you have to fall to resort to standing in 100+ degree weather praying for perverts to walk by you that take and use the card for the prostitute that you just gave them. I'm sure they aren't getting paid based on how many prostitutes are called every day, but their just can't be any real money in that job. Not making money isn't something to be completely ashamed of either, some people are more than happy with making enough to stay alive and live their life how they want to, but how can you sleep at night knowing your entire day was about promoting prostitution or whatever word you would use to make it not seem like prostitution?
The answer is probably circumstances. Drug and alcohol addiction don't help, but I'd say drug and alcoholic addiction are largely driven by circumstances as well. The truth is that I have a tough time feeling super good about where I am in my life (23 years old with a good job, a solid career path, and a place to my own). The reason for that is because I don't feel like I did all that much to get here. It wasn't hard for me. My parents gave me everything I needed (and more). I didn't get into drugs as a teenager, and that's because my parents sent me to a Christian school where I didn't even know what drugs were. I went to a public high school but by then I had developed the character to not even think about getting into those self inhibiting things. Was that my doing? I mean I was the one to not do those things, but the morals I had were put right beside me the entire time I was growing up. Not too many people in my exact circumstances would have turned out much differently at that point.
Then I passed high school. I didn't excel, I had a B average or something, and that's more than enough to get into Waynesburg University where I chose to go to college - it wasn't hard. I didn't work particularly hard academically in college because I knew what I needed to do to get a job in my field - which wasn't much. I wasn't going to grad school, and I knew I'd never have to show a possible employer a transcript of my grades, because they don't care. So college was a breeze. I didn't touch alcohol until I was 21, so I didn't get into any trouble, and after I was 21 I was mature enough to know how to deal with alcohol and not allow it to make me make any bad decisions. I got a job out of college because I was confident and I knew what to say in interviews. It also helps that there are tons of jobs out there for people who have degrees in that field. It wasn't hard.
That's all a ton of words just to say that I've never had to work hard for anything in my life. I'm one of the few people that are willing to admit that, but it's true for most of the people that I have associated with over the last ten years. If you're trying to get a job in a super competitive field then yeah you've gotta do some hard work and spend some time struggling financially, but even at that point it's not like your life is on the line.
What I'm trying to say is that people don't realize how much of your life is determined by how you came up, and where you came up. Your parents lives have more influence on your life than anything you could do in the first 25 years of your life (and by that time you're pretty much already set on where you're going to go). Some people have parents that don't set them up too well and they come out of it because they're smart, determined, and have their own mind to use - which is great, but I'm sure that's the rarity more often than the norm.
You think any of those guys in Las Vegas handing out hooker cards grew up in a house with parents that could afford to raise their kids comfortably and with good moral standing? You think any of those guys ever had the opportunity to go to college? I'm not saying they were predestined to be there or that there was no other possible direction, but if you think that you 100% could have done better than them if you were given the same circumstances, you're nuts.
Growing up you're told that you can be whatever you want to be and anything is possible, which sounds great, but it's just not true if you look at a global scope. So much is determined on what you're born into - and you can't control that.
Realizing that you have less control over life than you originally thought isn't a fun way to think. Comparing yourselves to someone on that side of the street can make you feel better about yourself - but just keep in mind the probable circumstances that person was given before you let it go to your head and get an ego about it.
I just got back from spending four nights and five days in the 'fabulous' city of Las Vegas, which was a lot of fun. We gambled too much, I lost more money that I would be willing to confess to my mother, and my liver isn't offering me any thanks you's for what I fed it while I was there, but now it's all over the trip at least inspired this blog post.
So if you spend any time walking in the Las Vegas strip you'll see dozens of people that really make you wonder how they came to be where they currently are. There are street performers, who actually have some serious talent and can do pretty amazing things - however they're depending on people to be impressed enough to give them tips to feed and shelter themselves every day. That's somewhat understandable though, it's respectable to have talent and want to get it out there - who knows maybe it will lead to a real performing job someday. The other kinds of people are what really make you scratch your head. There are the people that will just get in a costume and stand on the road side with a tips bucket - those people can't possibly make any money, right? Unless you have a little kid who loves Buzz Lightyear or you just have an odd obsession with minions from whatever stupid movie minions are from, then you'll have to stop for a picture and then be guilted into paying them for taking the picture. If there are any street costume wearers reading this I'm sorry for my comments. So there's those people, and there are the people that make their living by handing out cards for strippers, strip clubs, and prostitutes (escorts if you want to get literal and not arrested), and those are the lives that you just really want to know what happened to.
How far do you have to fall to resort to standing in 100+ degree weather praying for perverts to walk by you that take and use the card for the prostitute that you just gave them. I'm sure they aren't getting paid based on how many prostitutes are called every day, but their just can't be any real money in that job. Not making money isn't something to be completely ashamed of either, some people are more than happy with making enough to stay alive and live their life how they want to, but how can you sleep at night knowing your entire day was about promoting prostitution or whatever word you would use to make it not seem like prostitution?
The answer is probably circumstances. Drug and alcohol addiction don't help, but I'd say drug and alcoholic addiction are largely driven by circumstances as well. The truth is that I have a tough time feeling super good about where I am in my life (23 years old with a good job, a solid career path, and a place to my own). The reason for that is because I don't feel like I did all that much to get here. It wasn't hard for me. My parents gave me everything I needed (and more). I didn't get into drugs as a teenager, and that's because my parents sent me to a Christian school where I didn't even know what drugs were. I went to a public high school but by then I had developed the character to not even think about getting into those self inhibiting things. Was that my doing? I mean I was the one to not do those things, but the morals I had were put right beside me the entire time I was growing up. Not too many people in my exact circumstances would have turned out much differently at that point.
Then I passed high school. I didn't excel, I had a B average or something, and that's more than enough to get into Waynesburg University where I chose to go to college - it wasn't hard. I didn't work particularly hard academically in college because I knew what I needed to do to get a job in my field - which wasn't much. I wasn't going to grad school, and I knew I'd never have to show a possible employer a transcript of my grades, because they don't care. So college was a breeze. I didn't touch alcohol until I was 21, so I didn't get into any trouble, and after I was 21 I was mature enough to know how to deal with alcohol and not allow it to make me make any bad decisions. I got a job out of college because I was confident and I knew what to say in interviews. It also helps that there are tons of jobs out there for people who have degrees in that field. It wasn't hard.
That's all a ton of words just to say that I've never had to work hard for anything in my life. I'm one of the few people that are willing to admit that, but it's true for most of the people that I have associated with over the last ten years. If you're trying to get a job in a super competitive field then yeah you've gotta do some hard work and spend some time struggling financially, but even at that point it's not like your life is on the line.
What I'm trying to say is that people don't realize how much of your life is determined by how you came up, and where you came up. Your parents lives have more influence on your life than anything you could do in the first 25 years of your life (and by that time you're pretty much already set on where you're going to go). Some people have parents that don't set them up too well and they come out of it because they're smart, determined, and have their own mind to use - which is great, but I'm sure that's the rarity more often than the norm.
You think any of those guys in Las Vegas handing out hooker cards grew up in a house with parents that could afford to raise their kids comfortably and with good moral standing? You think any of those guys ever had the opportunity to go to college? I'm not saying they were predestined to be there or that there was no other possible direction, but if you think that you 100% could have done better than them if you were given the same circumstances, you're nuts.
Growing up you're told that you can be whatever you want to be and anything is possible, which sounds great, but it's just not true if you look at a global scope. So much is determined on what you're born into - and you can't control that.
Realizing that you have less control over life than you originally thought isn't a fun way to think. Comparing yourselves to someone on that side of the street can make you feel better about yourself - but just keep in mind the probable circumstances that person was given before you let it go to your head and get an ego about it.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Donald Sterling and Rob Thomas
Haven't been writing lately, so for today I'm transitioning this blog into a place where I just give my opinions on anything. This isn't going to be insightful, motivational, or interesting, it's just my opinions on a few things. If I like it maybe it'll be my new thing.
Everyone knows about all this Donald Sterling crap that's been going on for the last month. The Los Angeles Clippers owner insinuated that he was a racist on a private phone call and the tape of the call got out to the public and everybody went bezerk over it. I have opinions that differ from most of the rest of the world. My take is that racism sucks, it's unproductive and holds civilization back significantly, but it's not illegal. There nothing in the Constitution that says you aren't allowed to be an asshole. Donald Sterling didn't break any rules by saying that he'd rather not see his girlfriend bring black people to his games. His players aren't going to want to play for his organization if they here that, but that's a different story altogether. The dude didn't break any rules.
My main take on the whole thing is simply asking why is it such a big deal. Sterling's a big douche - but that's his problem. Does it affect his players? Sure doesn't. Are they playing the game for him? No, they're playing it for themselves, for their families, for each other. No professional athlete will ever say they're trying to win a championship for their owner. Why are the players taking it so seriously? They have people all over the world that hate them for all kinds of different reasons, but it doesn't affect anything in their life unless they let it. Sterling's not the only racist in the world, he's one of thousands. And not to excuse him, but I'm sure if we all grew up in the 1930's and 1940's, we'd have a different perspective on life too. It's easy not to have those thoughts these days, we were raised in an accepting culture, Donald Sterling didn't. Did other people that grew up in his time overcome the pressure that he didn't? Sure, but you shouldn't judge someone when you have no idea the backstory or what he went through earlier in his life.
So should he be forced to sell the team? Yes, for his own good. The team isn't going to play while he's the owner - that's the truth whether it's logical or not, so it's in his best interest and the rest of the world's best interest for him just to sell the team and then go sit on an island somewhere with the rest of his millions and enjoy the few years he has left. This dude is gonna get all caught up in this and start apologizing and fighting to save his team and it's just going to put added pressure on his heart and the rest of his body and he's going to die before he has to. This dude is eighty years old, he suffers from dementia, and he's probably way past the point where he could really turn this all around, so he should just relax and go away and let the story because history. Live his last handful of years enjoying the money he made and then die and go to wherever he'll go next.
On a lighter note, I heard that Rixton song on the radio the other day and it sounded just like that old Rob Thomas "Lonely No More" song so I googled it and it turns out that there's a pretty dope comparison video that shows that they actually are the same exact song. Further, Rob Thomas actually co-wrote the Rixton song, which is weird. The dude apparently has run out of ideas and is now helping other bands just by letting them use his songs as long as they change a few words. If you've heard the song I'm speaking of, this video might be interesting to you. Check it out.
Everyone knows about all this Donald Sterling crap that's been going on for the last month. The Los Angeles Clippers owner insinuated that he was a racist on a private phone call and the tape of the call got out to the public and everybody went bezerk over it. I have opinions that differ from most of the rest of the world. My take is that racism sucks, it's unproductive and holds civilization back significantly, but it's not illegal. There nothing in the Constitution that says you aren't allowed to be an asshole. Donald Sterling didn't break any rules by saying that he'd rather not see his girlfriend bring black people to his games. His players aren't going to want to play for his organization if they here that, but that's a different story altogether. The dude didn't break any rules.
My main take on the whole thing is simply asking why is it such a big deal. Sterling's a big douche - but that's his problem. Does it affect his players? Sure doesn't. Are they playing the game for him? No, they're playing it for themselves, for their families, for each other. No professional athlete will ever say they're trying to win a championship for their owner. Why are the players taking it so seriously? They have people all over the world that hate them for all kinds of different reasons, but it doesn't affect anything in their life unless they let it. Sterling's not the only racist in the world, he's one of thousands. And not to excuse him, but I'm sure if we all grew up in the 1930's and 1940's, we'd have a different perspective on life too. It's easy not to have those thoughts these days, we were raised in an accepting culture, Donald Sterling didn't. Did other people that grew up in his time overcome the pressure that he didn't? Sure, but you shouldn't judge someone when you have no idea the backstory or what he went through earlier in his life.
So should he be forced to sell the team? Yes, for his own good. The team isn't going to play while he's the owner - that's the truth whether it's logical or not, so it's in his best interest and the rest of the world's best interest for him just to sell the team and then go sit on an island somewhere with the rest of his millions and enjoy the few years he has left. This dude is gonna get all caught up in this and start apologizing and fighting to save his team and it's just going to put added pressure on his heart and the rest of his body and he's going to die before he has to. This dude is eighty years old, he suffers from dementia, and he's probably way past the point where he could really turn this all around, so he should just relax and go away and let the story because history. Live his last handful of years enjoying the money he made and then die and go to wherever he'll go next.
On a lighter note, I heard that Rixton song on the radio the other day and it sounded just like that old Rob Thomas "Lonely No More" song so I googled it and it turns out that there's a pretty dope comparison video that shows that they actually are the same exact song. Further, Rob Thomas actually co-wrote the Rixton song, which is weird. The dude apparently has run out of ideas and is now helping other bands just by letting them use his songs as long as they change a few words. If you've heard the song I'm speaking of, this video might be interesting to you. Check it out.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Happiness is a comparison thing
Everyone wants to be happy. If you asked everybody in the world what the purpose of life is, I'm sure the answer 'to be happy' would be near the top of the list. Everyone has different idea of what that looks like, even people in similar situations. If you compared what happiness looks like now to what it looked like a thousand years ago it would be tough to even say the two are the same thing even at the very root.
Think about this for a second. Say you were the only person on earth. You never knew another human, you never even knew that another human could exist. How would you get happiness? You might say that it would be really tough to do because you'd be incredibly lonely - but that's not true. You can't be lonely if that's the only state you've ever been in. Without ever experiencing or seeing feelings of companionship and human intimacy, it would be impossible to miss those things. So how would you find happiness? I think you could do it, but it would certainly look a lot different.
What does happiness look to you right now? Stop for a second and think about it. Is it falling in love and raising a family? Is it having your dream job and being excited to wake up every morning? Is it making a ton of money so you can live how you want and travel where you want? Is it finding a bigger purpose in life, something supernatural, living for something bigger than yourself, even something you've haven't necessarily seen or fully experienced yet?
For me, there's no job or any amount of money or any girl that could ever bring me full happiness. I believe full happiness lies in my faith in God and where that will take me, but let's not get off track.
Now what if the thing that you believe brings happiness never existed? Could you find some other way to be happy? If dream jobs didn't exist, if everyone simply did the same job 40 hours a week, could you find happiness somewhere else? Of course you could. The human mind is built to adapt and adjust. You weren't predestined to find happiness in one specific thing, you find happiness in whatever your thoughts and circumstances put in front of you (or you take the extra step and put it in front of yourself - for you self-confident optimists out there).
Now let's bring in the experience of seeing other people's happiness into the equation. Our minds adapt and adjust, sure, but they also compare and contrast. You see your friends happiness, or worse, some celebrities 'happiness', and your brain goes to work. Your brain starts comparing their happiness with your own happiness. Suddenly happiness isn't such a personal thing is it? You were perfectly happy with the job you had and the money you made and the relationships you were in until you saw what another person had and started wondering if it was better than what you had. All of the sudden your happiness is gone, for no other reason but you saw another person appearing happy and lost your own mindset and contentment. If true happiness is happiness that appears better than everyone else's happiness, there's only going to be one happy person on earth - and who wants to live life like that? Happiness isn't a competition.
Media is one of the main catalysts of everything I just spoke about. You get on Facebook and see what your friends are doing and you start comparing yourself to them. The problem with that is that people don't typically make their low points public. What you're seeing from someone's online postings are the things they want people to see, the things that make people envious of them (that may not be your intention, but ultimately that's what you're doing). There's a quote that says it pretty well:
This post is like most of my posts in that it doesn't have a conclusion. I could sit here like every other inspired young person in the world and write some cliche like 'stop comparing yourself and be happy with who you are - because you're unique and perfect in your own way', but I don't think that would do anybody any good. If you struggle with happiness because you're stuck in comparison mode, that sucks and you might not ever get out of that, and that's a hard reality. But at least try to get out of it. Believe in God? Ask Him for help. Have family and friends? Talk to them about it. Stop putting everything on yourself, narrow your focus, and start becoming happier.
Think about this for a second. Say you were the only person on earth. You never knew another human, you never even knew that another human could exist. How would you get happiness? You might say that it would be really tough to do because you'd be incredibly lonely - but that's not true. You can't be lonely if that's the only state you've ever been in. Without ever experiencing or seeing feelings of companionship and human intimacy, it would be impossible to miss those things. So how would you find happiness? I think you could do it, but it would certainly look a lot different.
What does happiness look to you right now? Stop for a second and think about it. Is it falling in love and raising a family? Is it having your dream job and being excited to wake up every morning? Is it making a ton of money so you can live how you want and travel where you want? Is it finding a bigger purpose in life, something supernatural, living for something bigger than yourself, even something you've haven't necessarily seen or fully experienced yet?
For me, there's no job or any amount of money or any girl that could ever bring me full happiness. I believe full happiness lies in my faith in God and where that will take me, but let's not get off track.
Now what if the thing that you believe brings happiness never existed? Could you find some other way to be happy? If dream jobs didn't exist, if everyone simply did the same job 40 hours a week, could you find happiness somewhere else? Of course you could. The human mind is built to adapt and adjust. You weren't predestined to find happiness in one specific thing, you find happiness in whatever your thoughts and circumstances put in front of you (or you take the extra step and put it in front of yourself - for you self-confident optimists out there).
Now let's bring in the experience of seeing other people's happiness into the equation. Our minds adapt and adjust, sure, but they also compare and contrast. You see your friends happiness, or worse, some celebrities 'happiness', and your brain goes to work. Your brain starts comparing their happiness with your own happiness. Suddenly happiness isn't such a personal thing is it? You were perfectly happy with the job you had and the money you made and the relationships you were in until you saw what another person had and started wondering if it was better than what you had. All of the sudden your happiness is gone, for no other reason but you saw another person appearing happy and lost your own mindset and contentment. If true happiness is happiness that appears better than everyone else's happiness, there's only going to be one happy person on earth - and who wants to live life like that? Happiness isn't a competition.
Media is one of the main catalysts of everything I just spoke about. You get on Facebook and see what your friends are doing and you start comparing yourself to them. The problem with that is that people don't typically make their low points public. What you're seeing from someone's online postings are the things they want people to see, the things that make people envious of them (that may not be your intention, but ultimately that's what you're doing). There's a quote that says it pretty well:
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel"Just because someone has more of something that you want than you do doesn't mean you can't be happy. That's ludicrous. There will always be someone better, there will always be someone that has more than you. If you let that dictate your happiness you'll simply be miserable your entire life.
This post is like most of my posts in that it doesn't have a conclusion. I could sit here like every other inspired young person in the world and write some cliche like 'stop comparing yourself and be happy with who you are - because you're unique and perfect in your own way', but I don't think that would do anybody any good. If you struggle with happiness because you're stuck in comparison mode, that sucks and you might not ever get out of that, and that's a hard reality. But at least try to get out of it. Believe in God? Ask Him for help. Have family and friends? Talk to them about it. Stop putting everything on yourself, narrow your focus, and start becoming happier.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
When are we actually 'blessed'?
So I'm moving my blog back here because I can't post from Medium at work.
This post is pretty specifically about Christianity. I'm not interested in creationism vs. evolution arguments, so if you have a problem with my inability to prove the whole reason behind what I'm writing - go read some blog about seashells or go whine about the How I Met Your Mother season finale on Facebook with the rest of the world.
You hear Christians say how 'blessed' they are all the time. We get a promotion at work and we say how blessed we are. We get good grades in school and get a degree and say how blessed we are. We meet someone we really like and get to spend a lot of time with them and say how blessed we are. We go to the doctor and they say we don't have typhoid fever and we say how blessed we are. We guess right on the trivia question on the Dunkin Donuts coffee cup and win a free donut and say how blessed we are. We sure say that a lot don't we?
All of the Christians I hear this from our well off American citizens that never had to worry about food or shelter growing up and are in good position to make something of themselves in this life. So from the beginning, yes, we could say that we are blessed. I was fortunate enough to have been birthed by two wise, intelligent adults with steady jobs, good morals, and a knowledge of how to raise children the right way. Did I do anything to control that? No. By definition, I was fortunate. A lot of Christians attribute fortune to God, which I don't have a problem with. God made everything, God has control over everything, so why couldn't someone say that God directly brought them good fortune? No arguments there.
But at some point we stop thinking about we're saying and we just blindly start attributing things to God or to the devil or to whatever other thing.
God's in control over everything, I believe that. But does God really grant blessing primarily and directly in the form of wordly material? Does that sound like the God you believe in? To reward strong faith and good action with a new car? With a pay bump so you can live in a more expensive apartment and take more vacations? If you think differently, read Matthew 5:1-12.
The more you learn about Jesus, the more you really do start to view comfort as an enemy. We all want to be comfortable and financially well off, but doesn't that make relying completely on God a lot more difficult? You can say how God blessed you with everything you have all day long, but that doesn't mean you aren't attached to what you have or that you don't feel that you earned what you have by yourself.
That said, doesn't thanking God for giving you something that (most of the time) works to pull you away from Him seem backwards? I'm not completely sold on what I'm saying here either, but I think it's worth thinking about.
I believe that God's biggest blessing on my life, the thing that I had no control over myself and the thing that God Himself really wanted for me, was the fact that I was raised in circumstances where I could find faith in Him. My parents took me to church every week, they put me through Christian school for ten years, and they were loving and not suppressive to where I respected and listened to them. They didn't push beliefs on me, they let me figure it out for my own - and I'm happy with what I figured out for myself. I'm not saying what I believe is 100% right or that I think less of anyone who doesn't believe what I believe, but for me personally, I feel very blessed to have arrived at this point.
God gave me a healthy brain, God gave me a healthy body, He gave me an awareness and ability for dealing with life and with other people, and those things are going to help me be successful in life. I didn't earn my talents, I didn't choose my parents or my cirumstances, so I can't say that anywhere I get in life is all because of myself. But let me be bold and say that I don't think God much cares how much money I make a year. I don't think God much cares how big my TV screen is at home, I don't even think that God much cares that I'm healthy and comfortable in every day life. What about people born into poverty. Did they do anything to earn that life? Is that some kind of punishment from God? My hard work right now will result in me making an extra $10,000 a year next year. Their hard work is that they get to be alive next week. Is God not blessing them?
Life's weird. Think about it.
p.s. I totally plagiarized a lot of this post from this article - so I'd recommend reading that as well.
This post is pretty specifically about Christianity. I'm not interested in creationism vs. evolution arguments, so if you have a problem with my inability to prove the whole reason behind what I'm writing - go read some blog about seashells or go whine about the How I Met Your Mother season finale on Facebook with the rest of the world.
You hear Christians say how 'blessed' they are all the time. We get a promotion at work and we say how blessed we are. We get good grades in school and get a degree and say how blessed we are. We meet someone we really like and get to spend a lot of time with them and say how blessed we are. We go to the doctor and they say we don't have typhoid fever and we say how blessed we are. We guess right on the trivia question on the Dunkin Donuts coffee cup and win a free donut and say how blessed we are. We sure say that a lot don't we?
All of the Christians I hear this from our well off American citizens that never had to worry about food or shelter growing up and are in good position to make something of themselves in this life. So from the beginning, yes, we could say that we are blessed. I was fortunate enough to have been birthed by two wise, intelligent adults with steady jobs, good morals, and a knowledge of how to raise children the right way. Did I do anything to control that? No. By definition, I was fortunate. A lot of Christians attribute fortune to God, which I don't have a problem with. God made everything, God has control over everything, so why couldn't someone say that God directly brought them good fortune? No arguments there.
But at some point we stop thinking about we're saying and we just blindly start attributing things to God or to the devil or to whatever other thing.
God's in control over everything, I believe that. But does God really grant blessing primarily and directly in the form of wordly material? Does that sound like the God you believe in? To reward strong faith and good action with a new car? With a pay bump so you can live in a more expensive apartment and take more vacations? If you think differently, read Matthew 5:1-12.
The more you learn about Jesus, the more you really do start to view comfort as an enemy. We all want to be comfortable and financially well off, but doesn't that make relying completely on God a lot more difficult? You can say how God blessed you with everything you have all day long, but that doesn't mean you aren't attached to what you have or that you don't feel that you earned what you have by yourself.
That said, doesn't thanking God for giving you something that (most of the time) works to pull you away from Him seem backwards? I'm not completely sold on what I'm saying here either, but I think it's worth thinking about.
I believe that God's biggest blessing on my life, the thing that I had no control over myself and the thing that God Himself really wanted for me, was the fact that I was raised in circumstances where I could find faith in Him. My parents took me to church every week, they put me through Christian school for ten years, and they were loving and not suppressive to where I respected and listened to them. They didn't push beliefs on me, they let me figure it out for my own - and I'm happy with what I figured out for myself. I'm not saying what I believe is 100% right or that I think less of anyone who doesn't believe what I believe, but for me personally, I feel very blessed to have arrived at this point.
God gave me a healthy brain, God gave me a healthy body, He gave me an awareness and ability for dealing with life and with other people, and those things are going to help me be successful in life. I didn't earn my talents, I didn't choose my parents or my cirumstances, so I can't say that anywhere I get in life is all because of myself. But let me be bold and say that I don't think God much cares how much money I make a year. I don't think God much cares how big my TV screen is at home, I don't even think that God much cares that I'm healthy and comfortable in every day life. What about people born into poverty. Did they do anything to earn that life? Is that some kind of punishment from God? My hard work right now will result in me making an extra $10,000 a year next year. Their hard work is that they get to be alive next week. Is God not blessing them?
Life's weird. Think about it.
p.s. I totally plagiarized a lot of this post from this article - so I'd recommend reading that as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
